How to tell Athena is getting a cold

By Jason

Athena is normally a pretty healthy kid, but she does pick up colds once in a while. She doesn’t always exhibit all the same symptoms you would expect from a toddler with a cold so I thought I would write a handy guide in case you’re ever wondering if Athena is coming down with something.

1. Athena will take a much longer nap, maybe even 3 hours. This is an easy way to tell she is getting a cold.

2. When a train comes to the train station by the farmer’s market, Athena will not twist out of your arms or upend the stroller to run over to see it closer. She will just be happy to look at the train. At this point it is pretty obvious she is feeling off.

3. Athena will still be the most energetic kid at gym class, but only by a reasonable human amount. You might ask, how do I measure this? Listen for the gasps and exclamations from the other parents. When she is not sick, Athena is able to elicit approximately 0.35 gasps per minute as she flips off the highest bar, topples over large heavy pads, and finds the only item in the gym not designed for climbing and climbs on it. When Athena is getting a cold, you will only hear the eerie quiet of children enjoying themselves.

4. Athena’s nose will be a little runny. This can be subtle, since two-year-olds’ noses often drip a little bit from time to time for no reason. If you give her a bath, it will be a little runnier, so that will help you tell. After the bath, she will produce horrifying volumes of snot. To give you an idea how much, go rent Ghost Busters and watch until the scene in the library where there is slime anywhere. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

…

Back? Okay, so compared to the amount of slime in that scene, you STILL HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE how much grossness will be coming out of Athena’s face.

5. Athena will be whinier than usual. What’s more, she will be more likely to become inconsolable when you fail to fulfill irrational requests, like giving her an elephant when we have no elephants.

6. Athena will be willing to cuddle with you without being drugged first with warm milk. Attempts to cuddle with Athena will not be met with armed resistance.

7. Athena will sleep in. This is one of nature’s greatest miracles and should be appreciated in awed reverence.

I hope this helps!